Missed Connections

That one club or something - m4w

You were at that one club or possibly somewhere else last night. I kept noticing you but never got up the nerve to speak to you.

Me - Tall, thin, dark hair, wearing black t-shirt and jeans

You - Stupid face

I'm hoping maybe you'll see this and respond. Although your face is stupid, your body seemed fully qualified to serve a certain purpose.

• Location: The Internet
  
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A Diagram of Your Face

An oversight!

I've shared some crucial lessons with you all since I began this blog, namely that your face is stupid, but I've thus far neglected to mention one very important thing and that is...

YOUR MOM!

That's right. I've spoken with her and she acknowledges that your face is stupid. She claims that you got that all from your father's side of the family, but, frankly, I'm not convinced.

The New Year

You might have noticed that there wasn't an update last week or you might have been too busy ringing in the new year with a high blood-alcohol level to care. Either way, I had decided to begin my New Year's resolution to stop informing you of the stupidity of your face a whole day early. I mean, yes, it's true that your face is incredibly stupid, from the idiocy of your bone structure all the way to the dumb way you fix your hair, but you all must gotten that by now, right? Was I just becoming redundant? Were my important lessons no longer needed? I feared so. Facts About Your Face would be no more!

But in the following days as I walked around this brave new world of 2009 I saw many faces naively unaware of their inherent stupidity. I was alarmed! The greatest defense against your enemies is to know your weakness and your major weakness is clearly your face. I must educate the people! I have a moral obligation! My work must go on!


YOUR FACE IS STUPID!!!!