Product Disclaimers

The Red Blood of Jesus Prayerkerchief
-will not wipe the stupid off of your face.

Snuggies
-will free your hands for fluid remote channel interactions, but will also still leave your stupid face exposed to the world.

NuvaRing
-may help prevent future generations of stupid faces from exiting your uterus, but has no effect on faces already in existence.

Kinoki Foot Pads
-should probably just go ahead and be placed on your face. (Wait. That wasn't a disclaimer, was it?)

ShamWow
-kills Scientologists. (Disclaimer or endorsement? Either way your face is still stupid!)

The Bedazzler
-totally will NOT make your jacket look stupid.