Your face is smart...
...ON OPPOSITE DAY!
It should be noted that there is no historical record of Opposite Day ever being officially observed by any nation.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Face The Facts (About Your Face)
It's been a while since I've bothered to update because your stupid faces have been unwilling to be confronted by the facts. They say that ignorance is bliss, but you will never find bliss so long as mirrors exist. A broken mirror may bring you seven years bad luck, yet you would feel like the luckiest person alive if you broke every mirror in existence. What you don't realize, or are unwilling to accept, is the realization that this would only be a fleeting feeling, as it would slowly dawn on you that eyes give a reflection much stronger than any mirror, and every gaze would be telling you that your face is stupid. May God have mercy on your souls, because he certainly didn't have any on your faces!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Merchandising Idea!
Remember those shirts that said "I'm With Stupid" and then had an arrow pointing to someone around the wearer? Well I will make MASKS that say that and have that!
Also, I will refer to my masks as faceshirts. I will refer to them as that A LOT! I will walk up to people and ask "What do you think of my super sweet faceshirt?" but they will be crying too hard to respond because my faceshirt has just exposed them to a painful truth.
Disclaimer:
-This product may cause individuals to cry uncontrollably as it exposes them to the painful truth that their face is stupid.
Also, I will refer to my masks as faceshirts. I will refer to them as that A LOT! I will walk up to people and ask "What do you think of my super sweet faceshirt?" but they will be crying too hard to respond because my faceshirt has just exposed them to a painful truth.
Disclaimer:
-This product may cause individuals to cry uncontrollably as it exposes them to the painful truth that their face is stupid.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Product Disclaimers
The Red Blood of Jesus Prayerkerchief
-will not wipe the stupid off of your face.
Snuggies
-will free your hands for fluid remote channel interactions, but will also still leave your stupid face exposed to the world.
NuvaRing
-may help prevent future generations of stupid faces from exiting your uterus, but has no effect on faces already in existence.
Kinoki Foot Pads
-should probably just go ahead and be placed on your face. (Wait. That wasn't a disclaimer, was it?)
ShamWow
-kills Scientologists. (Disclaimer or endorsement? Either way your face is still stupid!)
The Bedazzler
-totally will NOT make your jacket look stupid.
-will not wipe the stupid off of your face.
Snuggies
-will free your hands for fluid remote channel interactions, but will also still leave your stupid face exposed to the world.
NuvaRing
-may help prevent future generations of stupid faces from exiting your uterus, but has no effect on faces already in existence.
Kinoki Foot Pads
-should probably just go ahead and be placed on your face. (Wait. That wasn't a disclaimer, was it?)
ShamWow
-kills Scientologists. (Disclaimer or endorsement? Either way your face is still stupid!)
The Bedazzler
-totally will NOT make your jacket look stupid.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
A Quick Reminder
Your face is stupid!
I was afraid you might have forgotten that. Did you forget? If you did, I'm glad I was here to help you remember because it is stupid.
Still.
And for all eternity.
Seriously.
Forever.
Do you have anything to eat? I'm kinda hungry. I think I'm going to go grab some food now.
But don't forget about the whole stupid face thing. It's important!
I was afraid you might have forgotten that. Did you forget? If you did, I'm glad I was here to help you remember because it is stupid.
Still.
And for all eternity.
Seriously.
Forever.
Do you have anything to eat? I'm kinda hungry. I think I'm going to go grab some food now.
But don't forget about the whole stupid face thing. It's important!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Missed Connections
That one club or something - m4w
You were at that one club or possibly somewhere else last night. I kept noticing you but never got up the nerve to speak to you.
Me - Tall, thin, dark hair, wearing black t-shirt and jeans
You - Stupid face
I'm hoping maybe you'll see this and respond. Although your face is stupid, your body seemed fully qualified to serve a certain purpose.
You were at that one club or possibly somewhere else last night. I kept noticing you but never got up the nerve to speak to you.
Me - Tall, thin, dark hair, wearing black t-shirt and jeans
You - Stupid face
I'm hoping maybe you'll see this and respond. Although your face is stupid, your body seemed fully qualified to serve a certain purpose.
- Location: The Internet
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
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